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[sticky post] Masterlist

My sadly long overdue masterlist that I swear I will keep track of. Almost. Maybe. :D

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two years on, still doing battle...

So it's been almost two years since I've been on here. Not very much has changed for me, and I still participate in fandom some, just not on here. But doing battle with a Rose hater just now on another site ignited my desire to return here, LOL. I still don't write fic, but meta and episode discussion/analysis are still decent fun. But Doctor Who and I these days... well, that's a different story.

Remember how excited I was by Peter Capaldi taking over the Doctor? Yeah... that didn't last.

I hate Twelve. I say that unequivocally. I watched "Deep Breath" and "Into the Dalek" when they aired, but I stopped after that, initially. The weeks passed, I was too busy to watch, and the episodes started piling up... and I realized I didn't care. I didn't care enough to continue watching. And more than that, the more time that went on and the more things I saw from the episodes I wasn't watching, the more I realized I hated Twelve.

This was the start of it. This was why it continued.

The remarks about Clara's appearance--those hurt. I've struggled with my body image my whole life, with no cause, many have said. I'm skinny, so to many my problems don't exist (I've been told that, that since I'm skinny I must not have any other problems with my body). But I've been called ugly and other things to my face, and complimented on my appearance only once. That sort of thing leaves a mark. So to see it perpetuated by the Doctor left me feeling sick.

To see the Doctor turning into the sort of abusive, bullying prick who needed to be the most important person in Clara's life, despite not deserving that distinction, made me sour towards him even more. I remember that when Clara blindly put out her hand in "Deep Breath," I did not expect Twelve to come back for her. That was when I realized I didn't trust Twelve. That was why I was glad when Clara decided she didn't feel safe enough to travel with him--"I don't think I know who you are anymore." I certainly didn't know that, either. So when Moffat had Eleven pull a guilt trip from beyond the grave to make her travel with Twelve? You can imagine how disgusted I felt.

I've now seen through "The Caretaker," as I eventually decided to watch Series 8 to see if it was as bad as I'd figured (spoiler alert: it is). I'll be watching the rest of the episodes soon. But I wanted to revive my journal here because I miss discussions, and I miss the glory days, really. Watching Twelve makes it hit me more than anything that I don't recognize the Doctor anymore. The Doctor who immediately forgets the names of acquaintances is not the same Doctor who apologized to the body of a man whose name he didn't even now, in "World War Three", the same Doctor who regretfully asked a bus full of tourists what the Hostess' name was--and realized none of them knew. The Doctor who insults Clara's appearance and intelligence needlessly is not the same Doctor who called Rose "beautiful" or Donna "lovely."

I recognize my feelings about Twelve and my discomfort with Twelve and Clara's relationship are not shared by everyone; in fact, some I follow still from the Doctor/Rose days ship them. If you like either Twelve or the relationship, feel free to disregard or unfriend me. I'm pretty consistently negative in that regard and I don't foresee the situation getting any better. But if you feel the same way I do, I'd love to talk.

So for now, I'm back. I won't be writing fic, though sometimes I've thought about it (Rose wouldn't recognize this Doctor, either; thinking of her giving him a good chewing out makes me happy). But I'll be my usual overly analytical self if any of you are still around to listen.

Hi again, all. :)



An approximation of retirement

Hi, all. I think it's obvious given that this is my first post in eight months, but I wanted to say that--maybe temporarily, maybe not--I'm going to retire in a way from writing fic and actively participating in fandoms on here, which was essentially my purpose in starting this journal.

At the time I joined this site, I'd just gotten into Sherlock and Doctor Who, thanks to friends of mine at college. I started writing fanfiction because my original writing and roleplaying wasn't happening--my one partner was busy with school; so was I. I hadn't written fanfiction in years and I was a little surprised, a little nervous, to come back to it. I remember writing my first few Doctor/Rose pieces and I remember being so thrilled at being accepted to TTU, and then at the enthusiastic reception Hemlock received over there. I've never thanked you girls enough.

Fanfiction was what I leaned on, grew on, as I gave my own characters a break. I stretched my wings--I gained more experience working with prompts, something I'd never done to any great extent before. I wrote noir--I'd always wanted to write noir! I wrote Eleven/Rose, a pairing that had never interacted in canon. I did so many things that I'd always been hesitant to try and I enjoyed every step of the way.

The past year, things have changed. I've started roleplaying again, with two partners--my old one and a new one. I've gotten back to my old original characters and created some new ones. Once that happened, I found I couldn't really step back into fanfiction so easily. It's one or the other for me, unfortunately, for the most part. More than that, Doctor Who and I are... iffy. I don't feel connected to Eleven anymore, never really warmed to Clara, was exhausted and irritated by how long it took Moffat to finally write off Amy and Rory. I thought I would want to write fix-it fic for Series 7, before it aired, but the truth is, I just don't care enough about the show as it is now. I still love RTD era and its characters with all of my heart, and having loved Peter Capaldi as an actor for a while now, I was absolutely thrilled at the announcement that he's to be the Twelfth Doctor. So maybe in the near future, things will change and I'll start caring about the show again. But for now, Doctor Who and fanfiction are two things that are no longer an active presence in my life.

To all of you I know from Then There's Us and the Doctor/Rose shipping community at large, thank you, so unbelievably much. I learned so much from all of you, and I loved hearing about your lives, your families, and your thoughts on the strange, wonderful show and pairing we all loved. You all welcomed me, a newbie, with such warmth and kindness, and I hope I welcomed the new members who came after me in turn. Your kind words and suggestions boosted me immeasurably, and though I haven't written fanfiction for a while now, I'll never forget how good it felt to amongst all of you.

Everything I've written will still remain here and on TTU, so have no fear about that. I might still pop in occasionally to say hi, and talk about the early days of Twelve. I just wanted to leave you all with something other than radio silence, and I hope I've adequately expressed my love and fondness towards you all.

Thank you, so much, for everything.

Christmas was hectic, which delayed my getting to see Doctor Who and Downton Abbey's Christmas specials until the 26th and 27th. I was asked for my reaction to "The Snowmen" on Tumblr and figured I'd put it here, too, as usual. Unfortunately, on Tumblr at least, I seem to be part of an extraordinarily small unenthusiastic minority. I wrote this in the first flush of having watched the episode, so it's a bit rougher and more informal than other reactions of mine, and the language is a teensy bit coarser (oops).

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I also wasn't enthused with Downton Abbey for the most part. The only thing that really and truly matters to me on that show is Bates and Anna, but the ending of the Christmas special left me severely underwhelmed. My reaction, spoilers and all:

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So overall, Christmas specials of this year: not quite worth the wait, at least IMO. I'll hold out hope both can impress me again when I return; I look forward in particular, at least, to the standalone episodes of the remainder of Series 7 of DW, as I hated the arc/Moffat-written episodes in Series 6 and loved the standalones. Other writers might be able to make me like Clara. Moffat, unfortunately, didn't.
This fic was supposed to be my Springtime entry for TTU, except I got completely sidetracked and eventually my only connection to the springtime theme seemed to be "babies come in springtime; I like babies; babies are good." Yeah. That happened.

So with a couple quick revisions, I thus toss this one to the fixathon and fauxkaren's prompt about TenII and Rose babysitting Tony. This fits into my 'verse The Domestic Approach, in the gap between the "before" and "after" sections of Ever After, as Rose is pregnant with Sarah. (Doesn't matter at all if you've read the 'verse, though!) Just a bit of shameless fluff!

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Shiny! And thank you :)

"Until We Meet Again" took first place in its challenge at who_contest! I'd really like to thank everyone who read and voted. :) And just look at the banner:
My first reaction to this was basically, "Wow, that is some nice face," but looking further, I'm really ridiculously pleased with it. That expression on his face (thank you, John) is just so nearly impenetrable but also so weary and almost forlorn. It was exactly how I felt my Jack in my head, even though my position was really uncomfortably like the Doctor's--knowing exactly what would happen to Jack in his future and the Doctor's past, and trying ridiculously hard not to let that seep into the conversation.

I'd like to thank you guys again, and I'll throw in another thank you to all those who read and commented on my return to TTU, i will show you fear in a handful of dust. That one was tough to write and I was questioning myself every step of the way, so your relentless positivity was so helpful! Time permitting, I'm going to try and focus on who_contest for a bit: I have a truly vague idea for the current challenge that may or may not come to fruition, but I definitely know what I'm doing for the Kiss challenge. Here's to hoping it pans out!
Am I the only one who doesn't like the new LJ cut thing actually being a pair of scissors? I miss the parentheses. They were cleaner.

i will show you fear in a handful of dust, 9/Rose, T (some violence)

“You.” He says it again, rougher, wrenches her wrist violently. She tries to pull away, stammering out a demand for an explanation, but he pulls her roughly against him. “You killed me.”, 1,235

A/N: I'm hoping all of you will get what's going on with this one (being vaguer than I'd like to preserve some ~surprise), but should you end up hopelessly lost as to what's the deal with the planet, ask me and I will be happy to enlighten you. :) Also, I absolutely do not own T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land". Well, I own an anthology containing it. But that's all. And bonus points if you remember Rourke from some of my other fics!

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Masterlist reorganized and updated!

For those who might wish to take advantage of it, my masterlist has been redone and reorganized; heretofore, it was a big mess thanks to the "Livejournal, what the hell have you done to our formatting" debacle of 2011. It hadn't been updated since at least June, so it needed a good going-over! :)

ETA: Forgot to mention that stories with mature content have been appropriately marked. It's rare that I write it, but I know some readers prefer not to stumble into smut or pieces like the ones I've written involving domestic abuse, so I made sure to mark what stories I had to!

And to those of you who gave me prompts, I'm hoping to get started on those in a week or two! As of now I'm orchestrating a return to then_theres_us!
Title: Until We Meet Again
Fandom(s): Doctor Who
Pairing/Characters: 11, Jack, Rose; hints of Jack's feelings for both
Word Count: 400
Rating: T-ish
Warnings: Spoilers (kinda) through "Closing Time" for DW and through "Fragments" for Torchwood.
Disclaimer: I don't own them! I steal them from time to time, like the Doctor stole the TARDIS.
Summary: “Been a while.” He says it casually. Tries not to let the betrayal, the latent anger, creep into his tone. He can’t be angry, though. Not at them.
Notes: Okay. Timelines. 2000. For Jack, this is pre-"Utopia", and plays off his line about visiting Rose during her childhood (I know he said 1990s, but I won't tell if you won't). For the Doctor, this is one hundred years into the farewell tour that ends in "Closing Time".

This idea has been eating me alive for a while and I'm grateful to finally have it down. I also owe a serious debt to the fic that turned me onto this concept, tvconnoisseur's brilliant, tear-jerking, utterly perfect My Days in the Sun. What I can do here is nothing compared to what she did there. This is written for who_contest's Drabble Challenge #11 (prompt: last).

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Title: Of Chips and Charles Dickens
Fandom(s): Doctor Who
Pairing: Ten (John Smith)/Rose; Rose/Donna and Jack/Ten friendship
Word Count: 997
Rating: T (to be safe)
Warnings: None!
Disclaimer: I don't own them! I steal them from time to time, like the Doctor stole the TARDIS.
Summary: AU. “She seems like she could be your type, Doc. Blonde. All smiles. Up for anything. And so help me God, you are going to have one night away from your books, because the boys at Torchwood’ve got a bet going that you wouldn’t show interest in a woman if she threw herself at you, and I’ve got a lot of money riding on the opposite. So I’m doing the throwing.”
Notes: I'm not sure where to start. I wrote this months ago as part of the AUs challenge for a round at doctor_rose_las and always had plans to expand it, but haven't quite gotten there yet. (It also received two positive votes and some marvelous feedback in that round; to my anonymous champions, thank you!!) The idea was to have each chapter play off of a certain letter until I reached the end of the alphabet; this was meant to be Chapter 3.

I don't quite know if I'm ever going to get to writing the full fic, but since my next piece for who_contest is set in this 'verse, I thought it would help to finally publish this one officially on my own journal. I know, it's a cliche AU idea (university; how boring!), but I wanted to try my hand at another entirely human, non-scifi idea while still keeping the characters essentially the same, if a bit fluffier.

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